last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
