If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
