I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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