she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize