i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
