I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize