playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
pop tarts are not kleenex
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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