cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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