Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
