I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
