but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
