The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
