Where did you get a picture of my penis
nutella sex= disaster
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
