Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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