You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
