first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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