i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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