As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
