if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
