i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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