Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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