There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
