she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize