I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
