I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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