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• (586): View more from Michigan

  One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Me toooooo!! Margaritas

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?

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• (951): View more from California

  Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care

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