How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
