I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
