Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
