Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
send nudes
from the living room?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
