i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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