when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
