Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize