Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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