I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
