You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
