she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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