I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
