I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
