The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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