I wish my penis had an off switch
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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