so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
