Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
