you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
