we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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