ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
