Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
