You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
