Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize