My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
