That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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