her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
