I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
