Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
