Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
