is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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