she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Come on in and take your pants off
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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