I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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