and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He felt like a one man threesome
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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