I want to have your abortion
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
