well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
