He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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