do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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