i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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