i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize