Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
