I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
