in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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