That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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