i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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